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Most of us have felt it or faced it – burnout! – that awful, dark place where our lens of the world is skewed, and all we want to do is run for the covers, hide and cry. We are moms. We are the keepers of all the things, we are the diffusers, we are the core memory, we are the place of comfort, we are the Moms. It is the most important and most special job in the entire world, but it is exhausting. It is frustrating. It is lonely and fierce and takes a tole on emotions. But we can do it. We can be positive moms without having the burn out with these easy steps!
Be Confident! Face SAHM Burnout Positively.
What can be done about SAHM Burnout, and how can you deal with it naturally?
Personally, I think there is a link between PND and burnout. In the early days of having a new baby in the home, (and sometimes not so early days – I had PND when my 2nd child was 6 months old EEK!) it’s easy to burn out.
REASONS FOR SAHM BURNOUT:
- You’re running on very little sleep.
- You’re on call 24/7 & perhaps breastfeeding, on demand.
- The housework doubles, and doesn’t do itself..
- Every outing is different – slower, well packed for, and time-limited.
- Your marriage changes {let’s be honest}.
- Friends with no children battle to ‘get’ the new you.
- Your daily routine changes COMPLETELY. Time is no longer fully your own and your sense of ‘control’ changes.
The list could go on.. There are many reasons why being a mom can trigger burnout. Your life changes, your routine stretches you in so many ways and it’s never ending; a constant, repetitive loop.
So how can you change things – climb out of the burnout and rework your daily routine?
A few years ago I found myself in a CRAZY loop of exhaustion and constant GIVING, and no input. I found these things super helpful on my ‘road to recover’:
There are some proactive things a mom can do to help get out of SAHM Burnout naturally:
- FOOD CHOICES & MEAL SIZES:
Cutting out sugar & flour. I know, we read that everywhere, but what it practically means {it’s really quite simple & POWERFUL} is eating 4 small meals per day (cook in bulk), consisting of lentils/beans, a veggie & protein {a boiled egg counts). I did this for a month, and after the 2 week sugar -withdrawal mood from hell, I felt AMAZING. It stabilized my moods completely – no highs and lows, just comfortably full, calm days. - EXERCISE & GET OUT:
I made it a mission to get out every day, even if just for a walk with baby in the pram, to the street corner and back. Getting out in the fresh air and sunshine lifts your mood and gets you ‘out of your head.’ If you can squeeze in something small, like squats or the plank {really, 1 minute in the kitchen while the kettle is boiling} you’ll feel like a winner. Every second counts, right? - SOCIALISE:
Call a girlfriend, go for a coffee date.
I realised I had a problem when I spent day in and day out at home, doing washing and running after baby {babies} and never getting out or seeing another living soul over the age of 2, besides my hubby in the eves. I felt left out of the world, like they’d forgotten that I exist and that life was speeding by without me. So I made a concerted effort to call a friend on the phone {leave Skype/Facebook messaging alone, it really isn’t the same as a real voice!} at least twice a week, and to get out with a friend once a week. Getting out in the real world, as well as connecting with another human being, made such a difference, and was a fab break from the housework – baby cycle that never ends or gives you a break unless you take it..! - ASK FOR HELP & PRIORITIZE YOUR MARRIAGE:
I battle to ask for help.. ever! So when I felt like I was drowning in misery and exhaustion, I still found it hard to ask for help! When my first child was 6 weeks old, a dear friend of mine drove an hour to my house, took the baby off my boob, ordered me {in my leaky-boob jammie top, tears and messy hair} to sleep solidly for a few hours, and sat in the lounge with my baby, and a back-up bottle in the fridge. It was the first solid sleep I’d had in weeks, and I felt like a human again. True story. On hindsight, I’d have asked for help everywhere that I could get it, especially for date nights and afternoon naps. There were doting family members who’d have loved to have taken baby for a few hours a few times a week so that I could sleep for an hour!
If you’re suffering from SAHM Burnout, know you are definitely NOT ALONE! Motherhood and running a home is a full time job that places high demands from us, and it’s not easy! It takes careful checking, tweaking and rechecking your daily and weekly routines and moods to see what works best for you – what combination of habits and routine keeps you feeling happy and healthy.
How do you deal with SAHM Burnout?
What helps keep you functioning sanely as a mom?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
Products that are helpful:
- Rescue Remedy
- B12 Patches
- D3 Patches – Sunshine
Other posts of interest:
Katherine says
I love this post! We do all feel burnout sometimes… It springs up out of nowhere, too. 🙁 Thank you for the tips! I’m actually feeling burnt out right now (with a 3yo and 9mo), so I’ll try these ideas starting tomorrow! Best to you!
Barb @ A Life in Balance says
Congratulations on being featured at Motivation Monday!
Selena @ Look! We're Learning! says
Hey Nicolette! Thanks for sharing this post at the Laugh and Learn linky! I’ll be featuring your post this week. 🙂
Clair says
I stayed home with my daughter for a year and this is couldn’t be more true. The part about having at least two adult conversations a week is my favorite. I would go days without interacting with anyone besides my husband. It keeps you brain working too, have you ever had a conversation with an adult and your words are mumbled because you talk to a baby all day every day?! LOL, thanks for this post I’m sharing it. A friend of mine suggested that SAHM’s have mommy time for 2 hours a week. Just you by yourself without the kids to do whatever you want.
-Breastfeeding support for moms,
Clair at MomsMakeMilk
Heidi says
Thanks Clair, glad you enjoyed it 🙂 It’s always great knowing we’re not alone.
Jill says
The list for burnout is so accurate. I think this happens to every mom, no matter where you live or what circumstance you’re in.
I had this when I had my second and then again with my third! It’s always good to know that I’m not the only mom going through this. 🙂
Heidi says
HI! You’re definitely not the only one! It’s FAR more common than most moms will admit 😉 x
Jaimi@TheStayatHomeMomSurvivalGuide says
This is so common and yet many moms don’t share how they get so down some days. I am glad you are trying to motivate moms to know that this is normal and there are ways to relax and refocus to get back on a good path again…I think I have to do that every day! Balance is a work in progress, for sure. Great post!
Heidi says
Thanks Jaimi, it’s true so many moms don’t share how they really feel. For some reason, moms feel the need to keep up appearances. Phhht. It’s liberating to be honest & know you’re not alone 😉