Being a mother is the greatest role we can ever have. It’s a huge, beautiful responsibility to have a perfect tiny human in our care, who we’re given to raise and mould and train into grounded, whole adults. It’s a huge, tiring, awesome, stretching job that gives so much to our lives.
Ways You ARE A Great Mother
We all have our days where we are unsure of ourselves. Where the going gets tough. The patience wears thin. The doubts and mom-guilt creep up on us, and we wonder if we are doing a good enough job as a mother. Remember to give yourself some grace. We will all have our bad days, and crazy moments. But I am sure that overall, you will find yourself being a great mother and find yourself doing some of these:
Sacrificing in all those little ways
Not buying the clothes you’d love, giving up your last bites of food, spending that last bit of cash on something for the kids instead of yourself. Part of our roles is naturally to sacrifice for those little people we love.
Training and guiding in everyday life
Even in moments you don’t purposefully teach your children, you will find yourself teaching and training them in little ways, in different situations, whether it’s brushing off a skinned knee, brushing hair into a ponytail, breaking up a sibling argument, or cooking dinner with a child. You’ll find yourself training without noticing it.
Infinite patience in moments when you want to scream
We all have our moments where we need to count to ten. Breathe. Slow down to your child’s pace even though you need to run faster. Remember the times you do this!
Stopping to appreciate the little moments
Being present is a beautiful way to enjoy the little moments. Bedtime snuggles and giggles, story times, taking a walk together. It helps us connect, slow down and enjoy the age that your kids are at. They grow too fast!
Keeping your tone calm when you want to lose it completely
You know that tone, when you’ve spoken for the tenth time and you just can’t any longer… the Batman voice that you mutter, “I said get back to bed!” in desperation. Practicing self control is a great lesson to your kids. Notice the times you do keep calm, and give yourself some credit.
Building up with your words
Think about the times you speak kindly to your kids. It helps a child to grow in themselves and be confident if we aren’t nitpicking at everything they do, even if some things are pretty darn annoying. Remember the times you give them the grace and space to grow!
Being an example
Whether it’s in how to keep your own things tidy, or how to gracefully fall apart in a divorce and give them a lesson in having faith regardless, how you live and deal with emotional issues in life is an example to your kids.They are learning from how you deal with their own life, so be aware of when you show them greatness and give yourself credit.
Keeping to a routine is great. Keeping it together and dealing with your stress in healthy ways instead of drinking or sleeping all day, or partying all night, are awesome too. Adulting is hard, but keeping it together so that you can be a stable, consistent mom they can feel secure and safe with is vital. You can think of many ways you are consistent; focus on that and keep at it. Your kids are getting stability and security from it.
Telling your kids what you are battling with, and that the emotions you are feeling are part of being human, is important! Teach them by naming your emotions – tell them you’re feeling scared, worried, unsure of yourself, and how you are processing the stress/praying about it/having faith that it will work out/jogging to get that stress out.
They will learn from how you feel, and how you react to that and how you process that. It’s vital for their own EQ development! Stop feeling guilty about feeling less than perfect – nobody is perfect – and look at how your life is an example to your kids. Use it as training material.
You’re an example to your children on how to forgive and forget, even if it hurts a lot. They will learn from your example and use it in their own lives. Sometimes talking through the emotion, and then talking about how you will process it, can teach them to do the same the next time they want to kill their sibling over something.
What do you feel great about, when you parent? What makes you feel like a great mom?