Welcome to Week 7 of our Raising Boys series. If you’d like to read previous posts, you can catch up at Raising Boys!
How do we build up confidence in our son(s)? How do we protect them from the subtle, constant attack on esteem that they see, hear and read everywhere, and focus on their strengths and on building them up? This week, a chapter in Dr James Dobson’s book Building Confidence In Your Child really grabbed me, so here are a few quotes from it!
6 Ways To Build Confidence In Your Son:
Watch your words
“You can’t teach a child to respect himself when you dislike him for reasons of your own.”
Be sensitive to your son
“How can we preserve self esteem when we have totally lost touch with childhood ourselves? Don’t we know they are listening to us? It is a wise adult who understands that self esteem is the most fragile characteristic in human nature, and once broken, its reconstruction is more difficult than repairing Humpty- Dumpty.”
Take time out to be with your son
“Children just don’t fit into a ‘to do’ list very well. It takes time to be an effective parent when children are small. It takes time to introduce them to good books. It takes time to fly kites and play ball and put together jigsaw puzzles. It takes time to listen, once more, to the skinned-knee episode and talk about the bird with the broken wing.”
Work through parent-guilt
“Is my guilt valid?
Can I do anything about it? If so, how?
If I can do nothing about it, isn’t it appropriate that I lay the matter to rest?”
Spread your love to all siblings
“It is not difficult to convey love to more than one child simultaneously, provided you put your mind (and heart) to it. The first strategy, in summary, involves examining the emotional content of your home. Does it contribute to self-confidence or self-degradation? Does it meet the basic emotional needs, or does it leave family members unsatisfied and yearning?”
Praise, don’t flatter your son
“Flattery is unearned.. Flattery occurs when you heap compliments upon a child for something he or she did not achieve. Praise, on the other hand, reinforces positive, constructive behavior. It should be highly specific.”
>> Next Week: 5 Stages of Mommy Burnout
Recommended reading as mentioned in the Raising Boys Series.
- Bringing Up Boys
- Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different – and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men
- Bringing Up Boys ~ Parent Workbook
- The 5 Love Languages of Children
- Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
- Your Brain on Childhood: The Unexpected Side Effects of Classrooms, Ballparks, Family Rooms, and the Minivan
- Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
- Building Confidence in Your Child
- Parenting Isn’t for Cowards: The ‘You Can Do It’ Guide for Hassled Parents from America’s Best-Loved Family Advocate
- The Power of a Praying® Parent (Power of Praying)